If you feel that you have lost the connection with your partner, are constantly arguing over small things, or do not know whether to continue the relationship — a couples therapist can help you find a way forward. Couples therapy is not about who is right; it is about learning to truly hear each other and be together in a new way.
When should you see a couples therapist?
Couples usually come to therapy when they notice:
Loss of closeness You live under the same roof, but each of you is alone. Dialogue has disappeared, intimacy has faded, and only day-to-day conversation remains.
Ongoing conflicts You argue about the same things over and over: household chores, money, time, attention. After every argument you promise to change, but a week later the cycle repeats.
A crisis after the birth of a child You have shifted from being partners to being "mum and dad." Intimacy has disappeared, and constant disagreements have appeared about childcare and the division of responsibilities.
Difficulties adapting to emigration Relocating to a new country has increased the tension. You have lost your familiar roles, the dynamic of the relationship has changed, and you do not know how to find balance in the new circumstances.
Wondering "should we keep going?" You are at a crossroads — you do not know whether there is any point in saving the relationship or whether it is better to part ways. You need clarity.
How does online couples therapy work?
I, Inna Bondarenko, am a psychologist and couples therapist who works with couples online. I have more than 3,000 hours of practice, I am certified in working with couples, and I use Gestalt therapy and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT).
The first session — diagnostic (75 minutes)
In the first session I find out:
- What is happening in your relationship right now
- What your history as a couple looks like
- What each of you expects from therapy
- Whether there is a shared vision of where you want to go
Partners often arrive with different expectations. My task is to hear both of you and find a common direction for the work.
The therapy process: what we work on
1. Understanding why the same conflicts keep recurring
We examine your automatic reactions. For example:
- She thinks: "he is on his phone while I tell him about my day" → "he does not care what is happening with me"
- In reality: he has not learned to switch off after work — he needs time to decompress
Or:
- He thinks: "she is unhappy about the cleaning again" → "no matter what I do, it is never enough for her"
- In reality: she has specific expectations that she does not state directly because she assumes he should be able to guess
When you can see these mechanisms, conflicts lose their power.
2. Learning to speak so that each of you is truly heard
Accusations ("you always…") do not work — they trigger defensiveness. I teach you to speak about your feelings and needs:
- Instead of "you ignore me" → "I feel lonely when you do not ask how my day went"
- Instead of "you are always criticising me" → "I feel hurt when I hear that I have done something wrong"
These are not just words — they are a change in the way you interact.
3. Restoring emotional connection
Often behind anger lies pain, fear of loss, or the feeling "I am not good enough." I help you see and give voice to these deeper emotions. When partners see each other's vulnerability, closeness returns.
4. Working through crisis situations
If you are going through a difficult period (the birth of a child, emigration, job loss), I help you adapt to the new conditions and find new roles within the relationship.
5. Using creative techniques when words do not work
Sometimes emotions are so intense that talking about them is difficult. In those cases I use plasticine therapy or drawing — partners create images of their feelings or their relationship. This makes it possible to see what was previously hidden.
What is important to know about couples therapy
This is not about "fixing" each other Therapy is not a place where the therapist says who is right. It is a space where both of you can understand what is happening and decide how to move forward.
Outcomes do not always mean "staying together" Sometimes therapy helps couples find new ways of being together. Sometimes it helps them end the relationship consciously and with dignity. Both outcomes are about being honest with yourself.
How long does it take? It depends on the situation. Some couples feel changes within 8–12 sessions. Others need more time. Regularity matters — we typically meet once a week.
Why do couples trust me as their therapist?
Education and experience:
- Master's degree in Psychology (KNUTE, Ukraine)
- Counselling Technique (Walden University, USA)
- Certified in the Gestalt approach for working with couples
- Certified in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT)
- More than 5,000 hours of work with couples and individual clients
Personal experience: I am married, so I understand the challenges of a couple's relationship from the inside — through my own experience of crises, rebuilding dialogue, and adapting to new circumstances (including emigration).
How to book a consultation?
If you are looking for an online couples therapist, a family psychotherapist, or support through a relationship crisis — I am ready to help you.
Format: online via Google Meet
Duration: 75 minutes (first session — diagnostic)
Language: Ukrainian, English, Russian
Location: I work online with clients from all over the world
Book a consultation: Contact me through the form on the website bondarenkopsy.life.
Frequently asked questions about couples therapy
Do both partners need to want therapy? Ideally, both are ready to work. But even if one partner is hesitant, the first diagnostic session will help you understand whether there is a point in continuing.
Is confidentiality maintained? Yes. Everything you say in sessions stays between us. This is a fundamental principle of a psychologist's work.
What if we are already on the verge of divorce? I work with couples at any stage of their relationship — from the first conflicts to thoughts of divorce. Sometimes therapy helps restore the connection; sometimes it helps the couple end the relationship with respect and without unnecessary trauma. I also provide support through the divorce process and help children adapt to the separation.
Can we work together if we are in different countries? Yes, the online format allows me to work with couples who are temporarily located in different places.